The struggle to decide what one writes for the very first post on their blog is HUGE! I have gone back and forth about how to start this whole blogging thing a thousand times. My decision ... Just do it!
That said, this is a topic that has been on my mind for a bit now. You see, we are in the final stages of bringing our son home from Ethiopia. {I will back track more of this journey in future posts.} Having traveled once for our court trip; and having the Ethiopian courts declare us as his parents was a G.I.G.A.N.T.I.C. step in this process. Now were are home with our three resident children, preparing to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Saviour. All while I am experiencing what I have determined is the "third trimester" of adoption.
How I made this determination:
Having experienced the third trimester of pregnancy for each of our three resident children, I wasn't sure how these final days of preparing for our newest son would be. Since returning from Ethiopia, I have found myself having periods of excitement and pure joy; countered by moments of sheer terror. I have had times when I am full of energy, and doing some serious "nesting" ... preparing clothes, organizing, cleaning, etc. Then I have times where I am just plain tired (and since I don't have midnight feedings or other middle of the night wakings, I wasn't sure what was up.) After a week and half of this, it hit me! I am in the third trimester of adoption! The only difference between this and the other third trimesters I have experienced is the physical changes my body would endure. (Although ... I have justified weight gain with this excuse!) Suddenly, it all made sense. The times when I just want to cry because I want our son home ... TODAY! And then the moments when I think, "Who were we kidding? We can't parent another child." These are all NORMAL! I remember being pregnant with our third born. Our first son. We were thrilled to be having a boy to balance the two girls ... and yet, at times, I thought ... "But, he is so much easier to parent while he is still in the womb."
All of this clarity, lead me to thinking about the mommas I know that have yearned to experience a full pregnancy. And then being lead to adoption, wondering if they are missing out. I am here to say ... YOU ARE NOT MISSING OUT! I can confidently say that the way God is preparing me for the arrival of our 4th child, is much the same as the way He prepared me for the arrival of our first three. You see, I have known that God places children in families. I watch my resident three, and the things that make me craziest about them are generally the things that I know are just like me (or their dad .. mostly their dad. hee, hee). But the truth is ... it is all God! God designs each being and He places them in families. He is the maker of all things. It is He I trust to bring me through this third trimester ... for the fourth time. Because, I know His ways are perfect.
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down
from the Father of the heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17
So as my family prepares to rejoice as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, I am thinking of how Mary might have felt during her third trimester of pregnancy. Something tells me ... it was a bit of the same.
Wishing you blessings in the journey,
Sheila
